iPhonehood

A friend of mine just had a baby and I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. While we can only guess what must be going through the mind of a new parent, there must be some profound switch that occurs.

I think, now, of my friend sitting at his table, and eating some sandwich on homemade bread, like usual, on the day before the birth of his son. I’m sure it is a day much like any other. He enjoys his lunch in the stillness of the afternoon on the mountain where he lives and he savors the quality of the meal’s organic ingredients.

I think of him, again, sitting in that same seat, and eating a slightly different, yet equally organic sandwich, the day after coming home with his new son. I imagine him thinking, “this is an awesome sandwich, but there is a fucking (in the positive sense) baby sitting next to me!” Beyond this general, yet profound realization, I can’t say what his specific thoughts could be, but I’d bet some serious money that, from now on, anything he does, that he hadn’t done previously with a baby, will feel like a whole new experience. While he’s washing the dishes – “I’m washing the dishes next to a real, live baby! Like, my baby!” In the grocery store – “hey, baby, help me find some ripe avocados.” Everything is new and fresh and it will take him quite a bit of time to realize that his baby is real (like for real, for real).

While trying to wrap my head around what this realization must feel like, I’ve gained some interesting insight observing the owners of new iPhones. Having purchased the device, I can tell that their world, as well, shifts. In much the same way that my friend realizes he is doing everything he used to do, but with a little half-copy of himself, I’ve seen proud owners of new iPhones stop, mid-stride, on the 9th green, and reach down in a pocket of their woolen trousers to caress the soft curves of the smart phone they just remembered was there. I can see the twinkle in their eye, and that single tear gliding down their cheek, and can only guess that the realization of owning an iPhone must be one of the most amazing feelings a human could experience. Some day, I hope to experience this feeling for myself. Failing that, I guess fatherhood would be pretty OK, too.